Episode Number
Description
Cast (in order of appearance): Franklin, Germaine, Foamy {{Film|Character}}
Transcript[]
{{PG-13/R/NC-17}}
{The Warning screen appears.}
(This is also Franklin's first appearance as the Star-schmucks server)
(Germaine is waiting at the “Star-Schmucks” counter, Franklin is at the counter, there is a banner which reads “We proudly propagandize: Star-Schmucks Coffee” there is also a menu which reads: Cookie $7.00 Coffee; Tall $3.00, Grande $5.00, Viente $9.00…) Franklin: Like Oh my God, welcome to Star-schmucks coffee houses! Uhhh may I take your order? Hello…!
Germaine: Umm yes can I get a Viente white chocolate mocha thingy
Foamy: I want a fucking Large Hazelnut Coffee not that y’ know sucky taste you people have… it’s fucking nasty, spare me the under-taste!
Franklin: We don’t have “Large”…. Bitch
Foamy: (looking at Germaine) Uhh excuse me he did not just say he “didn’t have large?”
Germaine: Yeah he did
Foamy: Well what the fuck does that mean? No Large, well what is there?
Germaine: No No, you see they changed the names of the sizes for the cups of coffee.
Foamy: What does that mean!?
Germaine: Look!.. see (grabs a cup) Small is now called “Tall” Medium is now “Grande” and Large is “Vien-tee”
Foamy: Vien-tee? What kind of Nazi speak is that? And how the fuck can a small cup of coffee be called tall!? Forgive my Squirrelly ignorance, but isn’t “small” the opposite of “tall”?
Germaine: Uhh yeah, in the real world it is anyway.
Foamy: Oh I see what they’re doing! They call “small” “tall” because it makes the customer feel good when they pay $3 for a urine sample sized cup of coffee swill! This way it seems like they are getting more because the word “tall” is stuck into their psyche. I see their psychological marketing trickery! You tricky bastards that’s what you all are! Fucking tricky!
Germaine: (rolls eyes) yeah, whatever.
Foamy: Ahhh don’t give me that shit! When was the last time you went to “Taco-Hell” and ordered a taco “grande” and got a medium sized taco?
And Vien-tee isn’t even a word! It’s some fucking hoity toity phrase used to make people feel sophisticated when ordering a large coffee so when they part with the $5 for the cup of coffee they don’t feel like a fucking moron.
Germaine: Are you saying I’m not sophisticated?
Foamy: I’m saying you’re fucking stupid! Fuck this shit I can get a “tall” cup of coffee for 50 cents around the corner!
Franklin: But then you don’t get the trendy Star-Schmucks coffee cup that you like carry around like a status symbol…. Man.
Foamy: Ahh, you can take a “vien-tee” razor and shove it up your ass, you tall-brained moron. I hope you choke on a biscotti !
End
{The Ending screen appears.}
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