Foamy: Every year I bitch about how people aren't making Christmas the holiday it should be. Be it through political correct censoring or materialistic commercialization, it's safe to say I pretty much ran the gamut on how the holiday ain't what it used to be. However, I fail to address a particular group of people: the humbuggers. That poor group of bastards that are forced to endure this insipid event, year after year. You poor bastards... And honestly, I can see why they hate the holiday. It's become this annoying chore everyone is obligated to participate in. You're obligated to tolerate family and friends, you're obligated to put up with fellow classmates or homeworkers, you're obligated to decorate your home with gaudy lights and inflatable gnomes, and it's downright demanded of you to buy everyone something... Yeah. That might be feasible if I was, like, an oil czar on crack, but unfortunately, I'm on a fixed income and my holiday cheer isn't dictated by an adjustable platter of festive contraband! So forgive me if I'm not hemorrhaging gifts while my veins burst from holiday cheer! Aside from the mass holiday hysteria these humbuggers have to put up with, they now also have to deal with a plethora of overly cheerful jizzwads all up in their face saying, "Hey! Where's your holiday spirit? Huh?" or "Don't be such a Scrooge! It's Christmas!" You know, if someone comes off like they're a Scrooge, it's probably because their Christmas bonus wasn't an extra bottle of Valium and a case of liquor! And speaking of holiday spirits, you've had your fill. Put the bottle down and stop spewing your "holiday cheer" all over my carpet! And that's another thing; Why does every motherfucker on the planet have to use Christmas as an excuse to get shitfaced!? This irks me the most! Because anytime someone invites me to a holiday party, it's just a bunch of douchebags with holiday hats falling all over each other while an alcohol induced slut runs around with mistletoe strapped to her vagina! Sorry folks, not my kind of holiday! I'd rather wait for Santa to bring me something a little more useful than genital warts and a grab bag of STDs. Clowns! So for this holiday season, be mindful of those who don't care about it. Leave them the fuck alone. And if they don't have "the holiday spirit," it's probably because overdeveloped cock snots such as yourself have ruined the holiday year after year by making it a materialistic gift waving bar fight. Shut up, leave them alone, and take that stocking "hung with the greatest of care" off the fireplace and put it over your fucking head! TIS THE SEASON TO GO PLAY WITH PLASTIC BAGS, MOTHERFUCKER!