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Foamy: Teachers, teachers piss me off. Not all of them mind you, just the shitty ones, like gym teachers. What's with all the fat gym teachers? It's like, where do they get off trying to teach me about physical fitness when they are, like, 300 lbs!? Give me a fucking break. These people drive me nuts. They get all in your face about working hard and getting in shape while shouting out obnoxious instructions, in between swallowing down mouthfuls of chocolate and chicken. If you ever get a teacher like this, tell that fucker he is in no position to be spewing out advice about physical fitness. Not in his condition. Of course if you do this, your parents will probably get a (telephone ring) [mocking tone] phone call about your attitude. [normal] So, if this happens, just clearly state to the powers that be that you take physical fitness seriously and don't think that this fat man in a jogging suit is setting the best of examples, and is a poor vision of motivation at best. The key to this working is saying it with a straight face. No one is going to take this statement seriously if you're giggling out the side of your mouth! (laughing) Remember that. Of course, on the other side of the Phys Ed coin, you have the other type of gym teacher: the jacked-up, steroid-loving, nutcase who thinks [mocking tone] "Sports is a way of life." "Play or die!" [normal] These muscle-headed morons push kids way too hard and put way too much importance on insignificant games like dodge ball. Who gives a shit about dodgeball? And when was the last time any one of you in the real world had to dodge a ball?! Be it at the workplace or in the home, games like this are useless. Any game that scores points based on the amount of black eyes being doled out is not a game. Fuck dodge ball. (ball goes in air and hits person, screaming). And as for these musclebound idiots, if they get all in your face about the [mocking tone] "importance of sports" [normal] just tell them sports are about as insignificant as their jobs and that there are more meaningful things in this world than tossing a ball back and forth like a bunch of retarded 2-year olds. Of course, this'll probably incite another fun-filled phone call to your parents, so keep that in mind. But if that does happen, and you all get dragged into the principal's office to [mocking tone] discuss your attitude [normal] just tell them that you're in school to learn, not play with your balls. See, clever. It's a retort with a double-entree thingy...whatever. Use my advice at your own risk. Gym sucks! You get the ball!

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