Foamy Fan Mail V (Ashes To Ash)

"You try going through a thousand emails a day."

Episode 47

Foamy is exhasperated from all the fan mail.

Cast (in order of appearance): Foamy, Pillz-E

Series: Foamy Fan MailFoamy Fan Mail II (Postage Due)Foamy Fan Mail III (Return To Sender)Foamy Fan Mail IV (Burn Baby, Burn)Foamy Fan Mail V (Ashes To Ash)Foamy Fan Mail VIFoamy Fan Mail VIIFoamy Fan Mail VIIIFoamy Fan Mail IX


Notice The content of the following transcription is rated at a level equal or similar to PG-13.

Profanity, violence, and/or sexual content may be found at low to moderate levels.

{Foamy appears in the burnt-up room. He has a tired and worn-out tone.}

Foamy: All I have to say is never sign a contract you don't understand, all right? {reading letter} Dear Foamy: {speaking} Oh god... {sighs} ...why are people doing this to me? I just wanna relax, man! {reading} Dear Foamy, I was sad to hear that you weren't going to do any more fan mail. If you.... {stutters} If you can find the time, please try to do another one. {speaking} {sarcastically} Well, gee, that won't be so hard now, will it? Here's your Foamy Fan Mail! Ah! There's ash everywhere! It's all been burned.... {reading} Dear Foamy: I don't want to see the goth chick naked. I don't want to see you naked. I don't want to see anything naked. I just thought i'd like to tell you that. {speaking} Well, that's nice. That's really nice.... {groans in pain} I got an ash in my eye.... Ah.... {wipes his eye} Couldn't you people at least change the set or something? Fix this place up!

Director: {off screen; in a southern accent} It's not in the budget, man.

Foamy: I don't care if it's not in the budget! This place is filthy! {reading} Dear Foamy: In the last Foamy Fan Mail, why did you burn all the fan mail? {speaking} You know, looking back on it now, I have no idea. You'd figure these people would get the message like, "You know what? Seems our little friend here Foamy doesn't want to answer any more mail.". I set the place on fire, and what happens? They just send you right back in to answer more fa.... Oh, g.... I can't even go on anymore. I'm not doing anymore fan mail until there's a new set. You fucking son of a bitches, oh god! And for those of you out there who are just going to say "I didn't like this Foamy Fan Mail. It wasn't as good as the other fan mail!" Well, you know what? You try going through a thousand emails a day. See what happens to your brain then! Then you end up like this guy here! {pulls up Pillz-E, who has a syringe stuck in his forehead, then shoves him away} You see? You don't want that happening to you! {off screen} Stay away.... Stay away....

{The Ending screen appears.}

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