File:Foamy Fan Mail VII.png

Episode Number


Cast (in order of appearance): {{Film|Character}}

Series: Foamy Fan MailFoamy Fan Mail II (Postage Due)Foamy Fan Mail III (Return To Sender)Foamy Fan Mail IV (Burn Baby, Burn)Foamy Fan Mail V (Ashes To Ash)Foamy Fan Mail VIFoamy Fan Mail VIIFoamy Fan Mail VIIIFoamy Fan Mail IX



{The Warning screen appears.}

Pilz-E: Well today is the day of the taking over of the fan mail. [Whispers] Now mine... Since my head seems to be in demand all must have known that your letters are here, and soon to be discovered by all through my mouth.

Germaine: What the hell did you say?

(Pilz-E pops up behind Germaine)

Pilz-E: I read your letters...

(Pilz-E moves in front the desk again)

Pilz-E: "Dear Pilz-E, I would like to see Germaine naked."

Germaine: I thought we were over this?

Pilz-E: Unfortunately, no nudey for the baby wiener.

(Pilz-E tosses a hotdog at Germaine who promptly eats it)

Pilz-E: The flabbiness of asses shall remained covered from the nose and the bouncing bossom of lactation will be unknown to your eyes which will soon be stabbed from the head! (Waves knives) For idiotic letters mailed to the wrong address.

(Pilz-E moves up close to the camera)

Pilz-E: (Whispers) Check your post mark...

Germaine: You people are pigs.

(Pilz-E pops up behind Germaine again and whistles oddly. He then moves down to read another letter.)

Pilz-E: "Dear Pilz-E, why do you take so much medication?"

Germaine: This should be good!

(Pilz-E pops up behind Germaine, clasps his hands and looks up at her.)

Pilz-E: (Whispers) I would like to know too...

(Pilz-E moves out in front again and looks up at the ceiling.)

Pilz-E: The reason for the massive medication to my earlobe lies in the unknown placebos needed for the diseases by psychosomatic notions that were picked up through the internet as my asses went for a walk through an area of unclean babies (Holds up baby, drops it with blood spashing back up) whose puke-y heads went spinning as I slapped each one, shutted upped until the baby rattles reigned supreme for all to see, the spinning eyelids of my pupil said hello to the prescriber of drugs. (Moves up to the camera) It was then known, that all would be well. Unless it wasn't...

Germaine: Yeah, that's helpful.

Pilz-E: Well, thank you! Helpful is my middle name.

(Germaine burps. Pilz-E pops up behind her and hands her a letter.)

Pilz-E: (Ominously) This letter is for you...

Germaine: (Reading) "Dear Germaine, I would like you to suck my balls. Please find my balls, enclosed."

(Germaine rips up the letter and two bouncing balls pop out.)

Germaine: I really hate perverted word play.

(A ball bounces into Germaine's mouth.)

Pilz-E: You may play with any word you like. It's the rules!

Germaine: I can't take this any more! Talking to you makes me feel like Alice in Wonderland, tumbling down the rabbit hole into the unknown.

Pilz-E: In the rabbit hole lies urine and chewed carrots and little tiny raisin doodies.

Germaine: How much longer is this going to go on?

Pilz-E: It goes on for as long as the letters are non-answered, so answer your letters.

Germaine: I actually have to reply to this "ball sucking" letter?

Pilz-E: Well it's the law! If letters are written a response is rewarded for all the fans are better than the sum of their equal feat (Holds up a detached foot and drops it). And you can't leave until you do, like the broccoli you never ate, that doesn't like you any more.

Germaine: Uhm... "Dear pervert, take your balls and shove 'em up your ass." There, I'm done!

Pilz-E: (Angry) NO! You have to be nice to the specially handicapped fans of mentally disorder like I might be one day (starts singing) when I'm old, when I'm old, mentally disabled, when I'm old, mentally disabled, yaahh... (Snaps out of it) Niceness is my command!

Germaine burps.

Germaine: Dear pervert, I sucked on your balls last night and found them to be quite filthy. For future reference, please clean your balls before sending them to me, to be sucked. [...] Asshole." 

Pilz-E: Well, is that nice?

Germaine: As nice as I get with jackasses like this.

Pilz-E: Very well done with the muy bien!

(Pilz-E looks at his watch.)

Pilz-E: Oh, dear God! I'm late for tea!

Germaine burps.

{The Ending screen appears.}

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