(Title Screen)
(Warning Screen)
Foamy: You humans are filled with all sorts of little irritating qualities, and here are some of them. First and foremost, what the hell happened to holding the door open for people?! Just as a courtesy! Huh?! No one does this anymore! This is really fucking annoying! If I'm literally right behind you, hold open the fucking door! Don't let it slam in my face. I'm a very short squirrel, and those mall doors are heavy. Anyway, door holding. I always hold the door open for people all the time, and every once in a while, I get some shit for it, usually from some self-involved feminist rug-licker who "doesn't need a man holding open a door for her. I can do that myself. I don't need a man to hold open a door!" Me, I usually slam the door in the face of these cock-hungry jerk bags! I'm just trying to be polite! Don't be a bitch! Sometimes holding a door open for a lady, is just done for the sake of being kind. It's not meant to imply that you're weak or feeble, it's just a courtesy, nothing more. Ass. On the topic of women though, I get really pissed at oblivious mothers. You know, they usually cart around some bratty little fucker in some stroller blocking all sorts of aisles and fire exits in stores and shopping malls. I call these formerly knocked-up child-bearers "the Baby Brigade." All they do is crowd up aisles, sidewalks and all sorts of important areas you need to get to with their little hellspawns. And you ever notice - total disregard for the kid too. It's like the kid is just some pile of bricks they can use to mooch all sorts of public space. And who in their right mind is going to criticize a mother and their child? I would, and often do. Most of the time, if one of these space-hogging baby brigaders is in my way, I'll just slowly roll their kid carriage off to the side, away from me. And usually they don't even notice until, like, ten minutes later when someone else is in the same shoe aisle they are, and they're like, "what happened to my child that was keeping all these other customers away from me?" Personally, I think all these people should be tossed into a sacrificial mall pit! No one seems to listen to me. That's fine, I'm starting to accept that, that's fine, babies suck! Oh!
(End Screen Appears)