Caffeine Conspiracy Foamy The Squirrel

Caffeine Conspiracy Foamy The Squirrel

(Foamy appears)

Foamy : Hey.

Franklin : Oh jesus christ, why can't you leave me alone?

Foamy : Dude listen, listen carefully. I'm giving you a chance man, walk away. (whispers) Just walk away. (normal voice) Walk away from this mind numbing cooperate establishment. Don't be part of the conspiracy man!

Franklin : Conspiracy? Please, heres your copy of 'Catcher In The Rye' (drops book) now go away.

Foamy : It's true. Did you know that Starschmucks has the highest concerntration of caffeine per beverage out of like, everything?

Franklin : Just because we have a lot of caffeine in our beverages doesn't mean there's a conspiracy.

Foamy : Oh it does, see. Caffeine is addictive and, your company is peddaling highly caffinated beverages which, in turn gets the consumers addicted. Then when the consumer craves caffeine, they will go get a cup of coffee but then realise that a ordinary cup of coffee supplies the caffinated high they need so now they have no choice but to return to this den of coffee bean hell.

Franklin : For christ sakes, you know they don't pay me enough for this shit.

Foamy : Not only do you pedal highly caffinated beverages, you also putting small coffee houses out of buisiness. You move into town, you get people addicted to your coffee and then people stop going to the local shops, buy your coffee and run the Mom n Pop stores out of buisiness.

Franklin : You know, noone give's a shit about your Mom n Pop stores anymore, ok? People just want their quick fix at a reasonable price. Mom n Pop stores are dead sir, move along.

Foamy : See? This is the attitude i'm talking about. Once everything becomes cooperate in uniform, there will be no variation to the norm. Once Starschmucks takes over all Mom n Pop stores, where will people get a cup of coffee that tastes different? Where I ask you?!

Franklin : Well, we sell coffee beans. So you can make our delicious coffee at home. 

Foamy : T-Thats not different.

Franklin : But it's profitable. (money sound plays in background)

Foamy : Your one of them, aren't you?

Franklin : Here, have a cup on the house.

Foamy : Screw you! I know how that whole free-sample thing works. (off-screen) bastards!

Franklin : (using a walkie-talkie) Umm, the squirrel is onto us. Bitch.

(Ending screen appears)

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